I Love Free Speech…?

I, like any other red-blooded American, am guilty of the most cardinal sin of our democracy. But I'm not taking the blame alone, the rest of you are coming along with me. You too are guilty of the same sin, all of you. But don't worry; I'm going to make the confession for you. Here it comes … are you ready?

I Hate Free Speech.

Oh, I know, you've just winced, or jumped in your seat. Chances are, if you are like me, you're already composing angry replies. You already have your stack of reasons why you and, if you're a kind soul, I am not guilty of this horrendous thing. If you’re the tactical sort, you may be thinking that I'm talking about Them. You know which Them, if you’re a Democrat, They are Republicans. If you’re a conservative, They are liberals. You have numerous examples of why They are guilty of this, but you are not. Chances are, you're right, They are guilty of it. But so are you.

We all have the best of intentions. In our good intentions we know that free speech does not apply in this case. This case is the exception. You don't believe me, I know. But take a moment in your growing angst and think. Have you never thought something like "How could they print that!" or "I wish someone would do something about my biased professor" or (and you may have been thinking this one quite recently) "That speaker is offensive and shouldn't be allowed to speak at my College."

Did I detect a swallow of apprehension?

At some point in our lives everyone is guilty of this. We've all wanted to quash free speech beneath our righteous heel, taking the first decisive step on the road to hell. The irony is that we liberals are the guiltiest of denying free speech. That's not to say that the conservatives don't have a hand in paving over free expression, they do it in the form of ratings and censures, the little bleeps that make the world safe. It is a horrendous and unjust injury. But make no mistake, we liberals are worse. We are far more subtle and, therefore, deadly in our infringements. We censure to seek political correctness. Liberals enact speech codes, we write angry letters, and we call the ultimate fouls: "Bias! Racism!"

It takes a moment of reflection, but our liberal victories these days are far too often found when we kill off free speech. Bias is bad. Racism is wrong. And being offensive, well that just isn't nice! But we cannot remove people just because we find them so. Allow me an appeal to the conservative economist here, free speech is like that famous utopia - the free market - it hurts a bit, it leaves people behind, but in the end it can do more good then bad. Its conflicts work themselves out, if left alone. Legislating against them is only a mistake, and a big one. It is this mistake, compounded through legalities, suits, and funding machinations, that has put us where we are today, the Spin Zone known as the United States.

Liberals are just as guilty as conservatives of the state of the news media today. We have all pushed the news into airing innocuous idiocies or pure stupidities. By seeking to shut the other side up, you've forced them into employing a radical outlet. I want you all to take a step back from your computer and bow your head in repentance. Now, if you are a conservative, repeat after me: "Keith Olbermann is my fault entirely." If you're liberal, intone: "I am wholly responsible for FOX News."

I know, it hurts. But a lesson must be learned: There is only one reason to prevent someone from saying anything – if it will result in immediate deaths. Let Ann Coulter or Howard Stern say what they wish, they'll get their comeuppance when they loose their fans, and when the media itself hangs them. But the only reason they should not speak is because they don't want to. I'll declare it here and now; they may be filth but let them always have an outlet! I, as a liberal, would gladly throw another pie in Coulter's conservative face, but only after she's finished talking. To do anything else would only be to destroy the most important value we, as a country, have – Free Speech.

Next time you see an ad for an offensive speaker, or see an offensive book, or take offense at the language of a TV show, I want you to stop your initial impulse to force legal action on the person, or violence on the medium. I want you to take a deep breath, calm yourself, and remember the following:

I Love Free Speech.